I went to a women's group this morning and the pastor was speaking on men's and women's purposes in this world. Men are here to lead, provide, protect, and to love. However, they are prone to loneliness (because they tend not to reach out much), compulsive competition, and emotional timidity (the inability to process and/or deal with their emotions).
Women, on the other hand, complete men. Our purpose is relationships. Women connect; we have intuition, we are peacemakers, communicators. We are filled with tenderness, we are great friends, we are amazing nurturers, and, best of all, we are BEAUTIFUL.
I identify with this example of a woman. I am a communicator. I have been in awe of the amount of people who have reached out to me as I reach out to the world through this journey of mine. The words of wisdom, the sympathy, the empathy, the support, the cheers to stay strong and positive, the outpouring of love, it has all been overwhelming. I quite often get asked how my husband is dealing with all of this and, to be honest, I don't really know. I've tried probing, but have had mixed results. My husband is a great leader, provider, and protector (I would add 'lover', but my parents might be reading this and that's just weird). He is, however, prone to not reaching out. He is very much a man in the way that he compartmentalizes everything. Men have this amazing ability to put life situations into different little boxes and then proceed to focus only on one box at a time. In Mike's case, I believe his boxes look like this (in no particular order): Hunger, School, Job, Bills, Chores, Daughter, Wife, Cancer. Right now, the need to get through the semester of school is of the utmost importance in his life. I believe that his thought process is, "Get school out of the way as quickly as possible so that I can focus on the Wife and the Cancer." We have discussed at length the value that this new education will bring to our family. I understand his mindset, but as I deal with my own emotions I find myself longing for the attention and love of my husband. I want the words of encouragement to come from him. I want him to be asking, "What can I do for you?". I want him to be the one hugging me when I break down. I have this man who is incredibly hard working and focused, but right now it's not on the thing I want him to be focusing on. At the end of the day, who is to say which is the better route? If he quickly gets his school work done then he will have more time to focus on me later. I've never been the most patient of people. I'm still working on that fruit of the spirit. But, my perspective has changed of late and I just want to drop everything and bask in love and positivity. I don't care about the day to day at the moment. I want to cherish the time I have, no matter if I live 6 more months or 50 more years. I want to drop it all and LOVE.