Monday, November 28, 2011

Hold, Please

As some of you may or may not know, I have a production company called EVE Entertainment.  We have made one film; a short for the 168 Film Festival in L.A.  We were nominated for best international film and for best actress at this year's festival.  For our first production, and for my film directorial debut, it was a huge success.  We're actually currently waiting on several other film festivals to which we submitted to find out if we've been accepted.  I am very proud of this film.  Our company has been in pre-production for our second film, for the same L.A. film festival, which is going to be shooting in February.  My business partner is going to be directing this one and I am supposed to be acting.
Our hearts have really been on fire lately for children and teens who have been subject to abuse and exploitation.  While we were looking into that, we came across the subject of human trafficking.  It is a terrifying thought, as portrayed in the movie "Taken" with Liam Neeson (who I've met- no big  What was more terrifying was to find out that Guildford Mall in Surrey is the number one pick up spot in Canada for human traffickers.  Another scary thought is how poorly educated the public is on this subject.  We decided to base our film around the subject of human trafficking to help shed awareness on the subject.  There is also a campaign brewing that would use this film as an educational tool in schools.  We are very excited about the possibilities that this film holds.

It takes a LOT of work and planning to make a film.  Now, let's throw some cancer in the mix.  All of a sudden my plans for the next 2-3 months are completely up in the air.  As it is with any major injury, surgery, or illness, we must put our lives on hold and focus on healing.  Christmas is coming up and I'm not sure if I'll be able to make our annual Discovery Church Christmas event.  It will all depend on how I feel 10 days after surgery.  I don't even know how I'll be feeling on Christmas day!  Will I be able to eat turkey?  I had also been hoping to audition this thursday for one of my favourite plays of all time, "The Importance of Being Earnest", directed by a friend and colleague whom I have been eager to work with.  The rehearsal period will coincide with my recovery period.  I could maybe do the show despite my recovery... unless I need chemo, which I won't find out until after Dec 15th.  

 All of a sudden, this film that I've been planning and raising money for is also in danger.  Thankfully, I have an amazing business partner who is working double time to make this happen.  I want nothing more at this point for that film to be made.  I want the world to know about human trafficking.  I don't care if I'm acting in it anymore.  I don't care how big my involvement is.  I just want it to be made.  If, Heaven forbid, this journey should end in a bad way, I would like to have this one final push at affecting change in the world.

I guess where I'm going with all this is that I am ready to drop it all if need be, but I really don't want to.  Why should I accept putting my whole life on hold?  Just to get better?  Just to beat a life threatening disease?  Bah!  I can do it all!  I am super woman!  And yet, I can't.  Nor will my lovely husband, family and friends let me risk my health just to act in a play or make a movie.  I wouldn't let any of my sisters do those things if they were fighting cancer.  No way!  I would make them focus on themselves.  So why, oh why, is it so hard for me to focus on self?  I feel like it's my will versus God's will.  I don't know why I bother fighting, He always wins in the end (see yesterday's blog), but I am clinging onto this despite His imminent victory. This is going to be one of the hardest parts of my journey; seeing all the things pass by that I could have been involved with, but was unable.  I will have to surrender myself to the fact that I will miss out on these things.  But, it doesn't mean that God doesn't have bigger and better things for me to be involved with afterwards!  I look forward to the possibilities.  I love possibility!

(To read more about EVE Entertainment or our next film, go to:

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