Lady Lovely Locks

I have been contemplating cutting off my hair.  I don't know if the possible infertility and the potential hair loss are just side projects for me to work on to distract me from the impending chemotherapy, but it is definitely keeping me busy.  I've got the fertility treatments underway; Mike is stabbing me with a needle on a daily basis.  For someone who has no fertility issues, all these hormone treatments are a little odd, but it is the price I am willing to pay to have the peace of mind that comes with eliminating one of my biggest stressors.  But back to the point: My hair.  It's long, it's wavy, I have a ton of it; it can be sleek, it can be sexy, it can be whatever I want it to be.  The chemotherapy I'm doing does not tend to cause full hair loss, but it is known to cause hair thinning and change in texture.  I am worried that my hair will dry up and turn into a straw-like mess and I'll want to cut it all off after my treatments to let it grow fresh.  Maybe I'll even have a few clumps fall out, which will then start to regrow and cause short, frizzy strands to poke out whenever I do style my hair.  I've been thinking that maybe I should just nip this in the bud, be proactive, and chop it all off now.

The cool thing is, I have so much of it and it's so long that people might actually want to donate money to see me cut my hair off.  I could then donate that to a good cause.  Maybe colon cancer research?  The bad thing is, it costs a lot of money.  Custom hair pieces can cost up to $5000.  I would never, ever pay that much for a wig, but some people out there must be crazy enough to do it.  I've had some quotes and it looks like I can get cancer discounts at most places.  I was told that it would be a bit of a discount to use my own hair as well, but it still looks like the price will be around $1000.  How do I justify spending that much money on my hair?  It's for vanity purposes!  I know myself though, and I know that I like to look good.  I feel good when I look good.  I like to doll myself up and strut around.  The crappier I feel inside (illness-wise, not emotionally), the more I want to pretty myself up to make myself feel better.  (When I'm down emotionally, I really don't care how I look).  I am anticipating feeling pretty darn sick over the next 6 months and wouldn't it be nice to be able to clip on a wig that is already styled (thus saving me energy) and go out and about feeling good about myself?  I like having short hair too, so I could have a cute pixie cut that I could wear whenever I feel like it.  "Long or short today?  Hmmmm...I think it's a short day today."  Fun!  I have different glasses depending on my mood, so why not different hair?

 $1000- That's why.

Really, though, think about how much the average woman spends on their hair every year.  It costs me a good $200 every time I set foot into a hair salon.  It may be because I have so much hair, but I think that's pretty standard for any woman who dyes their hair or gets foils.   A lot of women, especially the ones who have chosen a hair colour that is much different than their natural colour, have to go back to the salon every 6 to 10 weeks.  If they pay $200 each time, that's an average yearly total of $1,300.  See?  Much more than my wig.  And the wig would last longer.  I can totally justify this!

Yes, I'm vain.  I'm an actor.  It comes with the territory.  I realize that I am going through chemo and I have every right to have yucky looking hair.  I would accept it and live with it, proudly even.  But, I would still be disappointed.  I love my hair and this is just one more potential loss that is coming my way because of the stupid cancer.  I've already lost my ascending colon.  I've already lost my beautiful belly button (it's now scarred).  I've added several scars to my otherwise scarless body.  I've lost the ability to care for my child on my own (this WILL come back).  I've potentially lost my perfect job (as a Disney Princess).  I may lose the feeling in my hands and feet.  I may lose my fertility.  But I don't have to lose my hair!  Picture me now on the floor kicking and screaming, "I DON'T WANNA LOSE MY HAIR!!  IT'S NOT FAIR!!".  This is why I want the wig.  Like all the rest of it, I will accept the loss of my hair as part of the process, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.  In the mean time, I will do my best to figure out how I can preserve my lovely locks!  

See my lovely hair?  Who would want to lose that?!